R-E-S-P-E-C-T… Find Out What It Means To Me.
**This Just In/Breaking News**
I finally have a “horrible roommate” story to tell people!
In the past couple of years, I have been very lucky in the roomie department. Even when I was randomly assigned roommates during freshman year, I met two really great girls (and one meh). In fact, when trading “horrible roommate” stories I often embellished them to make the Meh Girl seem worse (shocking I know). BUT FINALLY after five years of living away from my parents, I have one of the worst stories you could ever possibly have. It’s like in the Top Five Worst Roommates after: murderers, thieves, drug addicts, and Furries. Just what did this girl do that places her close to Furries, you ask? I will tell you..
This vile sub-human violated the sanctity of MY bed and baby blanket, “ME-ME Blankie,” by FUCKING SOME RANDOM DUDE ON IT!!!
GROSS…
But it’s not JUST gross, it’s horribly disrespectful to me and my property. She invaded my personal sleeping space and contaminated everything with her slattern musk. The part I can’t get past is how my ME-ME Blankie was profaned. That blanket was knitted by my grandmother. It’s soft and fuzzy. It reminds me of my youth, my home, and my family; then that tramp desecrated it. Her actions show that she has absolutely no respect for me or my stuff. I just can’t deal with that sort of trash.
Would you like to know what I was doing while the strumpet was spreading her herpes all over my baby blanket and Columbus Crew afghan? I was trying to write a paper (since it was a Sunday night after all) and make sure HER unconscious friend would not choke and die on his own vomit. After I finally got him on his stomach and checked that he was breathing normally, I thought it would be safe to quickly grab my computer so I could write and keep an eye on the drunk kid. After I walked in the room, I was met by the sound of grunting and a flurry of naked limbs on MY bed. I got my laptop and got the fuck out of there. I wish I had Lysol at that exact moment since my poor computer was within three feet of the STD-ridden-cum-bucket. The next morning she tried to hide her smile as she “apologized” for the random act of sluttiness because she was “so drunk.” (I have been “so drunk” before too, but I managed not to be a completely disrespectful whore) Throughout this whole “apology” she had MY fleece blanket that MY mother gave ME wrapped around her fucking waist (I might have to burn it).
An ironic little twist to this lovely story is that she is from New Jersey and is constantly saying how she is nothing like the folks on “Jersey Shore.” According to her, the show is perpetuating (I’m paraphrasing because I don’t think she could use the word “perpetuate” in a sentence) an unfounded stereotype. Yeah…OK…
Needless to say, I will be transferring out of that whorehouse as soon as possible. This was the final straw. Basically it was just the turd-icing on the shit cake I have had to put up with since moving in. I have been getting EXTREMELY sick and tired of: her moving my stuff (so sorry I left a couple silly bandz on the shelf in the bathroom next to my shampoo), constantly making passive-aggressive comments about my study/eating/working-out habits, being a selfish person who only thinks of/ talks about herself (if I have to listen to one more story about how people in NJ don’t pump their own gas, I might shoot myself), listening to shitty music/ liking shitty movies (FACT 1: “Crazy Bitch” was never and will never be a good song…ever Fact 2: Transformers 2 is HORRIBLE. Just plain horrible), not doing her dishes when she said she would, bringing random guys over all the time(it’s not necessary to get a number EVERY SINGLE TIME you go out to the bar) and just being plain obnoxious. I don’t like her as a person. I would have never talked to her in the first place, if I wasn’t forced to live with her. I normally don’t associate with sorostitutes who can only talk about their “glory days” in their whorority. Great, I am really glad to hear about how you earned your Greek letters by blowing eight dudes in one night.
I don’t feel like I am over-reacting. I haven’t been truly happy since moving in with that self-absorbed, disrespectful slut.
Hopefully I will be out of there sooner than later. Until then, does anyone know where I can get a full-body condom?
I finally have a “horrible roommate” story to tell people!
In the past couple of years, I have been very lucky in the roomie department. Even when I was randomly assigned roommates during freshman year, I met two really great girls (and one meh). In fact, when trading “horrible roommate” stories I often embellished them to make the Meh Girl seem worse (shocking I know). BUT FINALLY after five years of living away from my parents, I have one of the worst stories you could ever possibly have. It’s like in the Top Five Worst Roommates after: murderers, thieves, drug addicts, and Furries. Just what did this girl do that places her close to Furries, you ask? I will tell you..
This vile sub-human violated the sanctity of MY bed and baby blanket, “ME-ME Blankie,” by FUCKING SOME RANDOM DUDE ON IT!!!
GROSS…
But it’s not JUST gross, it’s horribly disrespectful to me and my property. She invaded my personal sleeping space and contaminated everything with her slattern musk. The part I can’t get past is how my ME-ME Blankie was profaned. That blanket was knitted by my grandmother. It’s soft and fuzzy. It reminds me of my youth, my home, and my family; then that tramp desecrated it. Her actions show that she has absolutely no respect for me or my stuff. I just can’t deal with that sort of trash.
Would you like to know what I was doing while the strumpet was spreading her herpes all over my baby blanket and Columbus Crew afghan? I was trying to write a paper (since it was a Sunday night after all) and make sure HER unconscious friend would not choke and die on his own vomit. After I finally got him on his stomach and checked that he was breathing normally, I thought it would be safe to quickly grab my computer so I could write and keep an eye on the drunk kid. After I walked in the room, I was met by the sound of grunting and a flurry of naked limbs on MY bed. I got my laptop and got the fuck out of there. I wish I had Lysol at that exact moment since my poor computer was within three feet of the STD-ridden-cum-bucket. The next morning she tried to hide her smile as she “apologized” for the random act of sluttiness because she was “so drunk.” (I have been “so drunk” before too, but I managed not to be a completely disrespectful whore) Throughout this whole “apology” she had MY fleece blanket that MY mother gave ME wrapped around her fucking waist (I might have to burn it).
An ironic little twist to this lovely story is that she is from New Jersey and is constantly saying how she is nothing like the folks on “Jersey Shore.” According to her, the show is perpetuating (I’m paraphrasing because I don’t think she could use the word “perpetuate” in a sentence) an unfounded stereotype. Yeah…OK…
Needless to say, I will be transferring out of that whorehouse as soon as possible. This was the final straw. Basically it was just the turd-icing on the shit cake I have had to put up with since moving in. I have been getting EXTREMELY sick and tired of: her moving my stuff (
I don’t feel like I am over-reacting. I haven’t been truly happy since moving in with that self-absorbed, disrespectful slut.
Hopefully I will be out of there sooner than later. Until then, does anyone know where I can get a full-body condom?
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