Info

Monday, January 31, 2011

Hawaiians Don't Make Good Cat-Burglars: Part I Oct. 10, 2010

Hawaiians Don’t Make Good Cat-Burglars: Part I
I really should just change the name of this blog to “Making Generalizations About Groups of People Based on Subjective Observations of a Few Interactions.” I am an anthropologist after all. But that is a mouthful to say, and isn’t nearly as catchy as “Buckeye Warrior.” So here goes:
Hawaiians* Don’t Make Good Cat-Burglars: Part I
Ever notice when people wear flip-flops/thongs/sandals/slippas simply by the cadence of “flippity-flap” as the footwear hits their foot and pavement? Obnoxious, right? Unfortunately, it’s an almost unavoidable sound in the warmer months. People want to feel the breeze on their toes and be comfortable when they aren’t working. I completely understand. However, I don’t understand why people buy sandals that are ill-fitting or made of cheap/hard materials. How can they walk around without annoying themselves? Since it’s warm all year in Hawaii, flip-flops/thongs/sandals/slippas are a necessity. It seems like most people are just deaf to the sounds their feet make as they walk along.  Which brings us to the topic of this entry: Hawaiians don’t make good cat-burglars because you can hear them from a fucking mile away. Good luck trying to creep around or make a sneaky get away with noisy footwear. Also, I don’t remember Selina Kyle or Felicia Hardy ever wearing flip-flops.
Flip-flops are not the only problem. You can still hear people walking around wearing regular shoes because so many people don’t pick up their heels when they walk. I am not expecting people to high-step around or anything, but it just seems like everybody is just too fucking laid-back to pick their feet more than half an inch off the ground. When you add cheap sandals to the mix you have an entire percussion section of noisy pedestrians. Every other person sounds like drunken sorositute making a walk of shame at 5 in the morning wearing broken heels slurring the click-clack cadence as she stumbles home….  Very bad for business, especially if your business requires any type of stealthy movements.

*And by Hawaiians, I mean all people living in Hawaii. Not a particular race or ethnicity.

No comments:

Post a Comment